My angel without wings
by chamoon
Summary: One shot - Smut - Human!Cas saves Dean from being killed by a demon. Dean watches, stunned, and gets turned on by the sight. When Cas helps him up, Dean kisses him. Sex against a wall happens.


As he watched the landscapes passing before his eyes, he realized how much he had missed. His chin comfortably nestled in the palm of his hand, he pressed his forehead against the cold window. For a moment he wondered how he had not seen this sooner, how he had never really tried to _look_. The sun, going down, was hidden behind a thick cloud, only letting a few rays filtrate through the wholly mass. They were caressing Cas's face and the fields in front of him, giving each blade of grass golden reflects. For a long time he had complained that traveling in a car was a considerable loss of time whereas flying was much more convenient, not mentioning faster. But now he saw what could be so good about using a human conveyance. Because now he was able to see so much more than what was just in front of his nose.

In the distance, he saw a road with cars and trucks and the way humans had taken over the Earth hit him. It was truly astonishing. All around them, there was nothing else than wild, trees, fields, nature. And yet humans amenagements were everywhere. From the wire lines, to the plane in the sky above them. And for a moment Cas was struck by profound admiration for this species which had done much more in centuries than angels ever had.

"Cas?" Dean's voice beside him said.

He might have been calling him for a moment now, Castiel had no idea. For once he had not been paying attention, he had lost himself in his thoughts and in the observation of the landscape outside.

"Yes?" He turned to him, curious.

Dean smiled softly, almost fondly, which was a look Cas had almost never seen on the hunter's face.  
"What'ya looking at?"

Castiel took a moment to answer. What was he really looking at?

"Everything." He breathed out. "Everything out of the window."

Dean's smile widened and Cas found he liked knowing that he was the one provoking it.

The hunter gestured to Cas's face, illustrating his words. "You got that dreamy look in your eyes. What do you see?"

It was Cas's turn to smile. Dean knew him much more than he gave him credit for. He noticed the change of verb.

"The Earth, Humanity, everything." He muttered. "It's beautiful."

Another peaceful silence. Then Dean added. "Yeah, it is."

"You know..." Cas started. "I don't know why I never took the time to... To really observe all this before now. When I was an angel, I thought it didn't matter, it wasn't important. There was nothing to see. But Dean... There is so much to see."

"Wow, calm down there Forrest."

Castiel frowned. "I don't understand."

"Life is a box of chocolates, Forrest. You never know what you're gonna-" He trailed off seeing Cas's confused face. "No? Okay then. Go on."

Castiel tried to understand what Dean had meant by that, in vain. So he continued. "What I mean, Dean, is that I think I never accorded to things the attention they deserved. Really, I never stopped to see the beauty around us-"

"Cas." Dean cut him off.

"Yes?"

"You're not gonna turn all hippie on me, are you?"

"What is a hippie?"

"People with flowers in their hair who listen to John Lennon all day long. They're high generally."

"Dean, I do not know who this John Lennon is, I do not intend to wear flowers in my hair and I can no longer fly. Therefore it is impossible for me to be high." Cas looked at Dean with his brows furrowed and his head tilted to the side, more confused than ever.

Dean chuckled and seemed to soften, as if some kind of weight had just left his shoulders. Cas did not understand what they were talking about but it looked like it was an important subjet for him.

"Did I say something wrong?" The former angel enquired.

"Nah, Cas. Nothing wrong." A light smile was still stretching his lips and somehow, it lightened up Castiel's heart as well.

Once again, they immersed in a comfortable silence and Cas turned back to look out of the window. He was vaguely aware of Dean's eyes on him and he didn't try to meet them, knowing that he would withdraw. He liked them here.

Outside, the sky was taking a light pearly color as the sun painted the creamy clouds with its beams. He knew he could have stayed here for hours, watching the sun go down as Dean glanced at him from time to time. He felt good, strangely. He felt peaceful, and for once really embraced his new nature. Being human wasn't so bad after all, not when he was on a hunt, in a car with someone he loved and a beautiful view.

After a while, Dean broke the silence. "We're almost there. Ready?"

Castiel nodded. He was ready. He had been ready for weeks to be honest. He understood Dean's apprehension to take him on a hunt, maybe he had thought he would slow them down, maybe he didn't find him useful anymore, or maybe he was just scared he'd get hurt. Probably all three.

Cas had insisted, like always, and this time Sam had helped him make Dean break. He couldn't say no when they were two against one. So reluctantly, Dean had accepted to take Cas on this hunt. It was his very first as a human and he couldn't deny he was slightly nervous but he wouldn't show it. He could almost already hear Dean's sarcastic comment about the fact that he had wanted to come and had no right to complain anymore.

They had been on the road for almost one hour now. Sam had stayed at the hotel room to do some research and Dean had suggested he would check the actual place where the crimes had occurred. Of course, Cas had wanted to go with him and Sam had to specify he needed calm to concentrate so that Dean agreed to take him.

"Okay," Dean started, "you stay close, you don't do anything stupid and if anything happens, you shout. Understood?"

Castiel smiled, trying to be reassuring. "I have been on hunts with you before, Dean. My fighting skills have not disappeared."

"Still."

"Okay, I will follow your instructions." Cas finally promised.

"Good." Dean opened the Impala's door and got out, soon followed by the former angel.

The hunter maneuvered around to the trunk and opened it, handing a gun to Cas.

"I am no good with firearms." He informed him, which only made Dean look at him very seriously.

"You're not walking in there unarmed."

"But-"

"There are no buts."

Castiel gave up and nodded, deciding that it was wiser to listen to Dean, if only to make him feel better. He took the rifle and stuffed it in the back of his pants, hiding it with his long coat.

The ride had been calm and light hearted, but now he could sense the tension building up and even though he didn't have his grace anymore, he could almost feel Dean's anxiety weigh down the atmosphere. Despite how much he appreciated his friend's concern, he really wanted him to stop worrying.

* * *

Dean walked in the decrepit building followed by Cas. This warehouse was falling apart, and every plank of wood beneath their feet was cracking. There were puddles on the floor, a sign that the ceiling was probably filled with humidity and leaks. Nobody had layed a foot in there for a while, that much was clear.

"Stay close." The hunter repeated, which granted him a look from Castiel.

He didn't care if he sounded like a protective mother or some shit, they had no idea what was around and how dangerous it was. Because it obviously was dangerous, it always was. Cas had never hunted as a human before and Dean could not be sure he would know how to protect himself, could not know if his reflexes were still as good, if his instincts were as reliable as they once were. Most importantly, the former angel probably didn't even know it himself.

This all human thing was new to him, he could panic, he could freak out, he could freeze. He could die. That was what worried Dean the most. He could die. Really, truly, irreversibly die.

He shook his hand, chasing the unpleasant thoughts away. He needed to focus on what he was doing, twice as much as he usually did. For both his sake and Castiel's.

Soon it became too dark to properly see and Dean had to switch on his flashlight. He gave one to Cas who imitated him and checked around. Everything was still, everything was silent. But they both could feel they weren't quite alone. The eldest Winchester had been on enough hunts to recognize this feeling.

"Dean." Cas said.

"I know." The hunter whispered, holding a hand up to silent him.

He really thought they shouldn't have come here yet. He would have, had he been alone or with Sam. But not with Cas, not while everything was so uncertain. He had shown his friend how much he worried, but he tried to hide it, because he didn't want him to think he didn't trust him enough. The truth was, he trusted Cas, he _cared_ about him, and he was _scared_ for him. But he wouldn't even admit it to himself.

Hell, there were thousands of things he wouldn't admit to himself. Plenty of facts he buried deep down and ignored. This, only being an exemple, was hiding a much bigger truth.

Lost in his thoughts, he didn't notice the furtive movement to his left, he didn't see the fist coming to meet his stomach, he didn't even forsee the blow before it was too late.

The hunter was tossed across the room by an incredible strength and hit the opposite wall with a dull thud and a groan of pain.

"Dean!" Cas exclaimed, pointing his flashlight at Dean, which blinded him for a few seconds.

He didn't have much time to think or to see how Cas was doing, he didn't know if there were more enemies. All he knew was that he hadn't reacted fast enough.

In no time, he felt the weight of a body on his and his incredulous eyes met coal black ones. Strong hands closed around his neck and soon, he was gasping for breath.

The demon's face was hideous, a rictus of rage twisting his lips, his jaw clenched as if he was concentrating deeply.

Dean couldn't breathe.

He struggled, wiggled, tried to break free of the man's grip but nothing would do.

He had been so stupid. He had done that for many years and here he was, choked to death by a single demon.

He was going to die, and Cas would be next, left all alone, in such a dangerous place. And it would all be Dean's fault.

But suddenly, the demon's fingers slipped on the skin of his neck, and the weight on top of him was removed. He watched with wide eyes as he saw Cas throw the demon away, one hand firmly gripping his collar.

The black eyed son of a bitch yelled in surprise but it didn't prevent him from falling face front into the dirt as Cas turned to Dean, checking up on him quickly with a concerned gaze.

Dean wanted to tell him there was no time for that right now, that he had to stay focused, but he had forgotten how many times Cas had done that before. Sometimes he forgot that he was a warrior, a soldier, someone who had fought all his life and if he was still here today to talk about it, it was because he had won every fight. Angel or not, he was still alert.

He nimbly avoided a kick the demon was directing him, quickly drawing his blade out while tossing aside the gun Dean had given him. A swift movement, a gasp of surprise, a glowing light, and then, the demon was dead at his feet.

Dean was agape, looking at Cas with wide eyes.

Cas didn't lose time, he scanned the rest of the room, only to find that there was another demon coming their way. Dean would have wanted to get up, to help, not to let him face danger alone once more, but he didn't even have time to react.

Cas was moving so fast, almost like he still had his wings, like he was still able to fly to another corner of the room in a blink of an eye. Each of his motions were precise, rapid, efficient.

Soon, Dean realized he was staring. He couldn't take his eyes off of the beautiful creature in front of him. He watched as Cas' back arched when he avoided another blow, as the muscles of his back moved beneath his shirt everytime he stroke, as his incredibly blue eyes narrowed at the target in front of him, looking so very concentrated, ready to kill. His hair was messy, sticking out everywhere, his lips were parted, he was breathing short and fast.

He was human now. And Dean couldn't stop staring. He knew he shouldn't have. It was a damn battlefield for fuck's sake. But everything he had repressed for so long had chosen this moment to come out. Great timing.

Of course he loved Cas with every piece of his soul, of course he thought he was unbelievably attractive for a dude. Of course he would have loved to fuck him. And of course he would have rathered die than admit this to himself.

But strangely, he couldn't control himself right now. Cas was more stunning than ever, looking so focused, so eager to save his life, so fucking adorable with his cheeks flushed from the heat of the fight.

And Dean didn't want to get up to help him, and kill the demon. If he got up, he was pretty sure he wouldn't be able to stop himself from fucking him up the wall.

Thankfully, Cas apparently didn't need his help, because within seconds, the demon was letting out a strangled cry of rage as he collapsed on the ground, dead.

When Cas turned to Dean again, he was out of breath, his chest rising and falling quickly, his eyes filled with sparks of surprise as he was met by a gaze as predatory as the demon he had just faced.

"Dean?" He started cautiously. "Are you alright?"

Dean should have snapped out of it, but he was way too turned on for this. When Cas walked to him and offered him his hand, Dean got up, ignoring the tightness in his jeans. He stared at him, unable to look away. The former angel just looked at him in confusion.

He looked so unaware of what he had just done to Dean, so innocent. The hunter couldn't hold back, he grabbed his shoulders and pushed him back, Cas didn't resist.

"D-Dean, what's wrong?" He enquired. "Did I do something wron-..." He was cut off by lips crashing against his own. Dean had closed his eyes, but he knew that Cas' were wide open in shock.

He trapped Cas against the wall, pinning his shoulders to the cold surface, leaning against him, his weight preventing him any escape.

Cas was already out of air and Dean was taking away what was left of his breath.

Soon, the former angel had to pull away, resting the back of his head against the wall as he took sharp gulps of air. Dean immediately saw an opportunity and dipped his lips in Cas' neck, tearing a small groan from him.

Dean would have stopped if Cas had shown any sign of unwillingness, if he had pushed him away, asked him to stop, but he was melting in his arms, welcoming every kiss or nip with a gasp or a happy sigh.

It was as if they had both been waiting for this moment for too long, all the tension accumulated between them over all those years exploding, they were giving in.

Dean's hands were wandering on Cas' body now, slipping under his shirt, making the ex angel's breath hitch.

They could have taken it slow, but they were both too eager, too impatient, they had waited for so long.

Cas tried to kiss him again, wiggling under his weight, trying to get at last some control back, but it was a weak attemp, as if he wasn't really trying, he was enjoying this too much.

Dean growled and sucked a dark mark on his neck, Cas moaned and stopped moving instantly, opening up to Dean. Every touch of the hunter's hands made him shiver, every kiss had him panting.

Seeing how receptive and sensitive he was, Dean slid his hands down his back, squeezing his butt. Cas gasped and wrapped his arms around Dean, bringing him closer.

Dean ground against him, and groaned. God, it felt so good, to finally be able to reach, to touch what he had been craving for so long. He was getting hungry, needy, desperate. He wanted more, so much more. Cas too, apparently, judging by the way he bucked his hips helplessly against Dean's, letting out soft whimpers.

The hunter didn't need anything more and pinned Cas against the wall once more, so that their chest were flushed against each other. He placed both his hands on the back of Cas' thighs and lifted him up. If Cas had never done that before, his instincts still made him react naturally and he wrapped his legs around Dean's waist, who strained to carry him and pressed him a little more against the wall to make it easier. Dean had never done it with a man either, but he knew what he wanted. And that was to have Cas, to fuck him as soon as possible.

"D-Dean..." Cas said, but it looked more like a moan. "Please..."

Dean got the message but he knew Cas was lost in the intensity of the sensations, of the emotions. "It's okay baby, I've got you." Dean reassured him, with a voice more hoarse than he had expected.

And he knew he had been a fool for denying Cas and himself something so good. He swore he would never let it go again, it was too late.

Dean tried something risky then, because he was already having a hard time supporting them both, but he took his hands off of Cas' thighs and felt him squeeze his legs around him not to fall as he hooked his arms behind Dean's neck.

The hunter brought his hands to Cas' fly and unzipped his pants, struggling to pull them down while nipping at his neck.

Cas tilted his head back, giving him more access, his eyes fluttering shut.

Dean tried to pull Cas' boxers down too, but it was a difficult task considering their position. He still managed to pull them down to his thighs, leaving his ass bare and his cock released. Cas let out a sigh or relief and he clang to Dean harder.

"Remember how you said you would follow my instructions?" Dean growled against the skin of his neck, and Cas nodded frantically. "Are you gonna be good and do as I say? Do you trust me ?"

Cas nodded again, answering without hesitation. "Yes, yes... Dean I trust you." His voice was slightly higher than usual, his lower lip quivering, his eyes filled with lust.

Dean had never seen him like this. He never thought he would one day. But damn, he was loving it. Cas looked so beautiful like this, giving himself up, looking at Dean as if he was silently begging for more.

Dean could have asked him what he wanted, asked him to beg for it, but he knew Cas probably didn't even know himself. It was all right, he was going to show him.

He reached for the pocket in his jacket, under Cas' curious gaze and pulled out a small bag of lube and a condom. He didn't have these because he had been expecting this to happen between he and Cas, he was just someone provident. Besides, it didn't take much place and it was important.

Dean didn't even have a full bottle of lube, they didn't have much, but that would have to do.

Cas was looking at him with interrogation, visibly oblivious to what those things were.

Dean smiled reassuringly, holding him up with one of his hands while the other wandered down Cas' back. He coated his fingers, a low grunt slipping out of his throat at the thought of what was to come.

His grip on Cas' thigh tightened as his wet fingers slid between the former angel's cheeks.

Cas' breath was fast and irregular. Hot against his ear.

Dean clearly heard the shaky gulp of air he was taking catch in his throat and die here as he started playing with Cas' hole.

The former angel tensed slightly, probably confused about his own feelings, amazed by all the places of his body he didn't know could feel good.

And that was before Dean slipped the first finger inside, gently, pushing in carefully.

Cas instinctively arched his back, biting his lip at the foreign intrusion, but he let out a soft groan.

Dean started to move his finger in and out, wiggling it inside to stretch him open a little better, before he finally added a second digit.

Cas moaned, bucking his hips in a way Dean was sure was unconscious.

His angel was fucking himself on his finger. That was a sight to see.

Dean could feel his own throbbing erection begging to be freed from inside of his jeans. He was so hard it was painful now.

Cas' cock was red from neglect too, but he didn't seem to care. He had closed his eyes, and every time Dean brushed over his prostate, he let out a choked moan that could have belonged to Dean's favorite porn movie.

Cas was noisy and unashamed, Dean loved it. Nobody had ever told him he had to be quieter, nobody had told him to hold back his pleasure. Dean would certainly not be that person.

Actually, he was most likely the first person to hear those delicious sounds coming from Cas. He wanted to be the only one.

The fallen angel probably didn't even know he could make such noises.

Even though his cheeks were flushed, he did not seem to feel any shame, or want to hide.

It was even better than Dean had ever imagined it would be.

And Dean had a lot of imagination. The idea of he and Cas fucking had crossed his mind more times than he cared to admit.

Dean snapped out of his trance when he noticed how quickly Cas was losing it. He didn't want him to come now.

He would normally have added a third finger to open him up properly, but he was running out of lube.

He took his fingers out of Cas who immediately whimpered in protest, opening his eyes and looking straight at Dean. He could read all the need and eagerness Cas felt in his gaze.

That only turned him on more and he hurried up to reach for his own pants, unbuttoning them and pulling his dick out.

He could have taken more time, done it properly but they were both impatient. Besides, now that Dean had finally accepted that he felt more for Cas than simple friendship, he wasn't ready to let him go anytime soon. He hoped they would have plenty of other moments like this one.

Maybe next time, he would take it nice and slow, laying Cas on the bed and drown him in loving and soft kisses. Maybe next time he would take all his time to prepare him, he would make it last. Maybe he would take Cas apart, piece by piece, slowly, watch him come undone beneath him.

Yes, there was definitely going to be a second time.

But right here, right now, Cas was gasping, his hole clenching around the air, waiting to be filled. And that was totally good enough for Dean.

He gathered what was left of the lube and coated his cock, before shifting a little to find a better position. He aligned himself with Cas' entrance and pushed in slowly.

Cas tossed his head back, hitting the wall behind him lightly, but it was the last of his worries. His mouth opened, allowing a litany of little sounds to come out, somewhere between moans and gasp.

Damn, it was fucking hot, and Cas was so tight.

Dean let out a growl of pleasure as he buried himself in Cas' warm body, who was squirming against the wall, adjusting.

As much as Dean wanted to start pounding into him, he didn't want to hurt him. Not mentioning that it was his first time and that they hadn't been able to use a lot of lube.

Cas' hole was clenching around him and Dean thought he was going to come right now. "Relax Cas... You need to relax." He whispered softly, dipping his head back in his neck and kissing soothingly.

Castiel only moaned again, between two jerky breaths. "D-Dean..."

"Shh... It's okay. Relax, it's going to feel very good."

To Dean, it already felt amazing. But he knew that Cas had to be in a little pain, and he absolutely needed to calm down to really enjoy this. Dean's words seemed to work though, because Cas did relax.

"Move... Dean I-... I need you to move." Cas stammered.

The hunter didn't need saying it twice. He pulled out slowly, only leaving the tip of his cock in Cas' tight heat and slammed back in.

Cas cried out, closing his eyes again, his back arched off the wall as if his body had decided to give itself to Dean voluntarily. Dean was totally okay with that.

He took Cas' thighs again to support him and started to thrust in and out of his body. "Mm... Baby, how does it feel?" Dean groaned out.

"Perfect... Ah! Dean..." Cas exclaimed, unable to form proper sentences.

It was all right, Dean loved seeing him like that. Castiel, once an angel of the Lord, giving himself completely and unconditionally to a human.

Castiel, pure celestial being, moaning and begging for Dean to fuck him harder.

Dean couldn't even realize it was really happening. He didn't feel worthy of this. He didn't feel worthy of someone as great as Cas. But right now, he was taking it anyway.

Maybe he would regret it later, convinced that Cas deserved someone better. But right now, the pleasure was too intense for him to think about that. And the view was too enjoyable.

He could have stayed here for days, looking at Cas' pretty pink lips parting, from which escaped the most beautiful sounds, contemplating the light shade of red adorning his cheeks, listening to his shaky and short breath. He could have observed how he tilted his head back, leaving his throat exposed for Dean to claim, or he could have delighted in the way he squeezed his arms and legs to bring Dean closer, take him deeper, as if he could never have enough.

He could have spent forever thinking about how perfect Cas looked like that.

But his body had decided otherwise. Cas' moans and whimpers were becoming louder and shorter every second. He was so close, and Dean was coming, lost in his contemplation and amazement, overwhelmed by pleasure.

The hunter moaned, his whole body tensing as he emptied himself inside of Cas.

The former angel choked on his own breath at the feeling, hitting his climax the second Dean's cum filled him up.

The feeling was perfect too, both of them reaching their orgasm at the same time, coming down from their high together.

Dean had buried his face in Cas' neck, but he wasn't sucking any hickey or kissing anymore, he was panting, breathing in his scent.

He was wondering if he had just made a huge mistake. If he was about to lose someone who mattered incredibly much to him. If he had doomed Cas to finish like everyone he had known and loved.

Of course, his feelings for Cas hadn't appeared suddenly. They had been here for a very long time. And him finally accepting them didn't change how much it would hurt if something happened to Cas.

But it made everything feel so much more real and he was terrified.

"Dean..." Cas whispered softly, his hand stroking the hunter's short hair. "I need to tell you something."

Dean nodded, not saying anything. He knew what Cas was going to say, but he wasn't sure he was ready to hear it, he wasn't sure he deserved it. But it was there, it had always been, he had just been stupid enough to ignore it.

"I'm in love with you." Cas finally said, and Dean closed his eyes.

Seeing that Dean didn't answer right away, Cas kept going, a little faster, as if he had something to apologize for. "I am sorry if... If it troubles you. And I would understand that you do not feel the same but... It occurred to me a very long time ago, and I truly realized it when I became human. Those feelings are so... They're so strong Dean, and they're overwhelming. I cannot control them, I'm sorry."

"Shut up." Dean said, his voice breaking slightly.

Cas fell silent immediately. Dean had no intention to be mean, or to hurt him, but he couldn't hear that. Not from Cas. Not when he had already given him everything. Dean had just taken more. He could not ask him to give him that in addition to it all.

"Cas you shouldn't..." Dean started, but he couldn't finish.

Strangely, Cas didn't seem to need his grace to read his mind. "I should. You deserve to be loved Dean, you deserve to be happy. Even if you do not think so, it is too late to change it. I love you, and I don't think I'm ever going to stop. Please... Let me try at least. I want to make you happy."

Then, it hit Dean. He already made him happy. Every time he was there, his life felt a little less empty. Every time they were close, his heart started to beat again, and it beat faster. Every time Cas smiled at him, he felt like the world around had stopped spinning, like nothing mattered except them. Every time he looked into his eyes, he felt like he wasn't so unworthy after all. If an angel could look at him with so much adoration and admiration, it was maybe because he wasn't all bad, right?

Dean smiled softly against Cas' skin. He hadn't felt like telling that to anyone. Not ever. But Cas wasn't anyone.

"I love you too Cas."

He swore he could have heard Cas' heart skip a beat at that. He definitely heard him hold his breath. "Dean..."

"No, this time you shut up and kiss me you idiot." Dean said, pulling away from Cas' neck to face him, smirking.

Cas complied and Dean met him half way.

Dean wasn't good with words. He couldn't tell Cas how much he meant to him as well as the former angel could. He couldn't be poetic about it, he couldn't give him a long speech about how he had saved him from the dark. How he had not only rescued him from Hell, but from himself.

No, he could not. But Cas was human now, and the least he could do was taking care of him the same way the angel had for so many years. He would love him, he would show him. He would teach him everything he needed to know. He would watch over Cas like Cas had watched over him.

He would make Cas happy too. It was a promise.


End file.
